


A Green Eyed Monster

by TheDVirus



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Animals, Domestic, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Ed and Oz adopt a cat, Engagement, Fluff, Jealousy, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Nygmobblepot, Romantic Fluff, tastes like diabetes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 06:41:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11008062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDVirus/pseuds/TheDVirus
Summary: Ed brings home a stray cat he found in the rain and Oz has a hard time sharing.A request from @nygmobblespot





	A Green Eyed Monster

Ed ran up the drive, desperately trying to shelter beneath his jacket. He was using it as a makeshift portable roof against the rain hammering down from above.  
Despite his best efforts, he felt drops running down his neck and cringed.  
Great. He hadn’t found what he was looking for in the city, the bus had broken down and now he was getting drenched. At least he was nearly home.  
He turned a corner and smiled as he saw the waiting lights of the mansion and the dry haven it promised. He picked up speed, only to nearly trip over his own feet as he stopped dead.  
He glanced around, intrigued by the strange yet familiar noise he had picked up over the heavy rain.  
He kept very still, straining his ears to try and hear it again.  
After a few moments, just as he was about to give up, there it was: a plaintive little cry from somewhere nearby.  
Walking to the grass verge, Ed leant down and peered under the bush.  
A pair of vivid green animal eyes met his own and a surprised sounding little ‘meow’ served as a greeting.

 

Oswald drummed his fingers and made a concerted effort not to glance at the clock again.  
Ed was running a bit late that was all. Gotham was hectic enough at rush hour never mind in the middle of a sustained downpour.  
But then why hadn’t he called? Why hadn’t he taken the limo?  
Oswald distracted himself by checking the goulash again. His brow furrowed at the taste: it would have to be reheated now. And he’d have to relight the candle in the centre of the table.  
He supposed he couldn’t blame Ed: Oswald cooking dinner was meant to be a surprise even though he and Ed didn’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day. Ed had voiced his disapproval of the concept just the other day. He didn’t see the point in couples showing how much they loved each other on one day more than any other.  
Oswald gently disagreed: an occasion like Valentine’s Day was just an excuse to spoil the person you cared about. So to prove his point, Oswald had been busy for the last two hours cooking away and eagerly awaiting Ed’s arrival.  
He hoped the rest of the night wouldn’t end in similar anti-climax…  
Unable to stop himself this time, he looked at the clock again.  
If… _when_ Ed ever got back from town.

 

As if on cue, Oswald heard the front door creak open and Ed’s distinctive long legged strides.  
Oswald smoothed down his suit and hastily checked his hair in a nearby mirror.  
Perfect.

The same could not be said for Ed.

Ed smiled abashedly at Oswald’s surprised expression and shrugged. Rainwater dripped from his soaked suit onto the carpet as he walked to the table, his bundled up jacket cradled protectively in his arms.  
Oswald was going to be so surprised! 

‘Ed, you’re drenched!’ Oswald exclaimed, ‘Why didn’t you take the limo?!’

‘You’re not going to believe what I found’, Ed said, placing his jacket carefully at the end of the table.

‘Well, can’t it wait?’ Oswald asked, feeling a flash of irritation that Ed didn’t seem to have noticed the beautiful (albeit stone cold) dinner waiting for him at the other end of the table, ‘You need to get dried and dinner’s-‘

Ed opened the jacket with aplomb: like a magician unveiling a trick.

Oswald saw a grey bundle nestled in the sopping green material and was surprised to realise it was a cat. It was older than a kitten but it was small and thin, its green eyes taking in its new surroundings as it stirred slightly.  
Oswald’s eyes darted to Ed and he was taken aback at how delighted he looked.

Ed couldn’t stop smiling.  
The cat was just like the stray he had fed for a while when he was growing up on his parent’s farm. Until his father had found out and gotten rid of the ‘dirty vermin’.  
As he turned his attention to Oswald, he reflected fondly on how the colour of the cat’s eyes reminded him of his partner.

‘Where did you get that?’ Oswald asked.

‘Found it under the bushes’, Ed replied, watching the cat begin to sit up, ‘I couldn’t just leave it there’.

‘That’s what kept you? A cat?’

‘No’, Ed said, watching as the cat began to groom itself, ‘The bus was late’.

‘Why didn’t you take the limo?’

‘Did you make dinner?’ Ed asked, suddenly appearing to notice the dinner laid out on the table.

‘Well it’s not like I waved a magic wand’, Oswald said, trying to ignore how Ed had dodged his question.

‘We’ll eat in just a second okay? I just wanna check this little guy over first. It’s like a Valentine’s present for the two of us!’

‘You can’t just pick up a random stray in the woods just because you feel sorry for it’.

‘Can't I?’ Ed asked, raising a teasing eyebrow.

‘That was nothing like this’, Oswald grumbled.

He knew what Ed meant: he had located Oswald once in very similar circumstances.

After a few seconds Oswald reached out tentatively in the spirit of reconciliation to pet the cat’s head only to be rewarded with a hiss and a swipe of a clawed paw. 

‘Actually it was a lot like that’, Ed laughed as Oswald yanked his hand back just in the nick of time, ‘You swung at me remember?’

 

‘It can’t keep bringing dead birds in here’.

‘It sounds like you’re taking it personally’, Ed commented, closing his overnight bag.

Oswald glared at the offender. The cat didn’t seem to notice his hostility, preferring instead to stretch in the puddle of sunshine it had found to lounge in.  
Over the previous week it had settled right in at the mansion and in turn, thoroughly unsettled Oswald. It just rubbed him the wrong way to see Ed dote on it so much! He seemed to find everything it did adorable, even praising it for bringing in dead birds from the garden! He had even tied a green silk ribbon around its neck as a mark of proud ownership.

‘Maybe because it insists on putting them in _my_ shoes. Why does it never put them in your shoes?’

‘He’s bringing you birds because he assumes you’re a weird looking cat that doesn’t know how to hunt’, Ed said, leaning down.

The cat rolled over and allowed Ed to scratch under its neck.

‘Oh, I can hunt just fine’, Oswald said, throwing an evil smile in the cat’s direction but only when he was sure Ed wasn’t looking.

‘Speaking of hunting, wish me luck on this trip’.

‘Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?’

‘I’ll be fine Oswald’, Ed said, picking the cat up, ‘It’s only Metropolis’.

‘Can you at least tell me why you’re going there?’

‘It’s just an appointment. Nothing to worry about’, Ed said lightly, gently swaying the cat back and forth in his arms like an infant, ‘Besides you’ll have this little man to keep you company’.

‘Stop that’.

‘What?’

‘Fussing over it like that’.

‘Don’t tell me you’re jealous’, Ed teased, using his fingers to get the cat to ‘wave’ a paw at Oswald.

‘Forget it’.

Ed placed the cat on the floor, confused by Oswald’s stiff retort.

‘Are you okay Oswald?’

‘Why wouldn’t I be?’

‘Is it because you don’t like cats?’

‘I don’t like people being late to a special dinner because of a cat’.

‘That’s why you’ve been annoyed? Because I was a little late?’

‘The last time you were a ‘little late’ for a dinner you-!’

Oswald clamped his jaw shut before more words spilt out. He didn’t want this to turn into a big thing. There was no point bringing up Isabella or that whole fiasco: the past was dead and buried. But then, why had he been so worried the other night when Ed had been late? Maybe Oswald wasn’t as ‘over it’ as he had thought.

Ed placed a comforting hand on Oswald’s shoulder that ironically did nothing to make him feel better. 

‘I’m sorry about the dinner but don’t you think you’re overreacting? It’s just an animal’.

‘I’m overreacting?!’ Oswald cried, grip on his self-control lost now an alternate target to vent his frustrations on had been identified, ‘We had to pay to get that thing spayed and vaccinated because it made the house stink of urine, it shredded the curtains, I keep nearly tripping over it, it claws at me every chance it gets, you came home with three full bags of pet stuff for it when you were just going to ‘get a few necessities’ and if it’s ‘just an animal’ then why does it need luxury food?!’

‘You are bit jealous aren’t you?’ Ed asked light heartedly.

Oswald glared at him and Ed’s smile faded as he realised Oswald was not in the mood for jokes.

‘Did you know in Ancient Egypt, cats were considered-‘ Ed began, adopting a different tactic now he knew Oswald was upset but Oswald interrupted.

‘We are not in Ancient Egypt Ed! We are in Gotham and that cat is on my last nerve!’

Oswald heard a car horn outside. Checking through the curtains he saw it was the taxi Ed had ordered to take him to Gotham Station. A taxi again? Why wasn’t he using the limo?

‘You really don't like him?’

Ed looked so downcast that Oswald immediately tried to backtrack but to his dismay he couldn’t think of anything. After exploding like he had, his brain felt foggy and empty. He wasn’t sure why he had been so angry.

‘It’s okay’, Ed said with a smile tinged with sadness, ‘When I get back we'll find him a new home’

‘No Ed, it's a big house’, Oswald protested, upset at Ed leaving on these terms, ‘I can-‘

He stopped when Ed pecked his forehead with a light kiss and flicked his chin with one finger.

‘It's okay Oswald. Really’, Ed said, checking his watch, ‘Look, I'll see you tomorrow night okay?’

He stopped for just a minute to give the cat a brief stroke along its back then grabbed his overnight bag and left.  
Oswald watched the cab drive out of sight then closed the curtains.  
The cat looked up at him from the floor.  
Oswald met its stare for a few minutes then walked away, trying to ignore how loud his footsteps seemed in the now empty mansion.

 

‘Am I supposed to be impressed?’ Oswald grumbled, flicking between the TV channels as he lounged on the sofa.

The cat had brought him another present. It spat the mouse out onto the floor and began to clean itself as if to smugly display how easy it had been to catch.

‘I’m not going to say ‘well done’ because you conformed to a stereotype’.

Oswald took another drink and tutted. He’d almost finished the bottle of whiskey he had opened earlier.  
The cat mewed and began to bat the mouse between its paws.  
Oswald’s nose wrinkled in distaste as he saw the small brown creature move slightly, powerless to escape its tormentor.  
The sight wasn’t doing anything to relieve his melancholy.

‘You think I'm going to help you kill it or something?’ 

Oswald felt the hollowness in his chest increase as soon as the question came out.  
It made him think of that evening all those months ago when Ed had brought him Mr Leonard as ‘grief therapy’. They had killed him together.

Irritated at the memories the cat’s actions were evoking, Oswald glanced around until he saw the lazer pointer Ed had purchased to amuse the cat. He clicked it on and shone the red dot onto the hardwood floor. The cat’s eyes instantly focused on the red pinprick and it tried to grab it beneath its front paw. Oswald got up and moved the dot out into the hallway. The cat immediately gave chase, searching for its phantom quarry.  
Once he was sure the cat’s attention was distracted Oswald grabbed the mouse and, opening a window, deposited the terrified creature into some bushes beneath the sill outside.  
The cat returned just as Oswald closed the window.  
He began to walk back to the sofa but stopped when he realised the cat was staring at him.  
He thought he could sense its reproach for him taking away the food it had been playing with.

‘Look, if I feed you, will you stop staring at me like that?’ he asked.

 

Oswald examined each packet of food, trying to pick one. Ed seemed to have bought enough food for a small army of cats. He knew the cat got one sachet a day but he had no idea which ones it liked. What was even more confusing was that some of the packets seemed to have vegetables or rice in them. Could cats even have vegetables?  
Hearing an impatient meow from the cat, Oswald went with his gut (literally) and tore open a packet of ‘Tuna Fish’ chunks.

The cat rubbed up against his leg in obvious approval of Oswald’s choice as he filled the food dish. The cat placed it’s paws on the rim as Oswald lowered it to the floor.

‘Maybe we have some common ground after all’, Oswald commented, watching the cat ravenously devour the light brown chunks of fish.

 

Oswald settled back onto the couch and began to channel hop again.  
Dealing with the cat had killed a bit of time but now he wasn’t distracted, he started to think about the purpose of Ed’s trip.  
Ed didn’t talk about his family much but it was obvious they didn’t get along. Perhaps a relative was deathly ill and Ed had to go see them?  
Maybe he was meeting up with some old friends from college or something?  
Or meeting someone else for a different kind of rendezvous?  
Oswald’s grip tightened on the remote.  
Now he was just being ridiculous! Ed loved him and he loved Ed! Their relationship was as strong as it had ever been!  
But…Ed had been so secretive lately. Going into the city with minimal explanation, switching his phone off, rushing to close his laptop when Oswald walked into his office. Oswald had seen enough lifetime dramas and daytime TV to recognise what that kind of behaviour often suggested.

He felt a sudden pressure beside him and saw the cat, hunger satiated, had joined him on the couch.  
It automatically tried to climb onto Oswald’s lap.  
Oswald tried to push it away gently but the cat, seemingly more liquid than solid animal, slipped past Oswald’s preventative hand and ended up nestled in his lap.  
Oswald was tempted to lift the thing off but realised it was purring loudly.  
Why? He’d been tolerant of it at best and outright hostile at worst.  
Was it so desperate for affection it would look anywhere?  
Just…just like Ed.

Oswald sighed heavily and resigned himself to acting as the cat’s cushion.  
He looked down at its soft, grey fur and was suddenly overwhelmed by an urge to touch it.  
He reached down but halted his hand’s movement when saw he heard the purring stop and the cat open one watchful eye.  
He didn’t feel like losing a finger while trying to make friends.  
How did Ed do it?  
Oswald moved his hand so it was at the cat’s eyeline rather than over its head and cautiously began to scratch under its neck.  
The change in behaviour was instantaneous. The cat began to purr again and rubbed its face against Oswald’s fingers, relishing the gentle pressure of his fingers as they brushed through its fur.  
Oswald gave a giggle before he could stop himself.  
That had been so easy!  
After a few minutes, the purring began to die down and Oswald realised the cat was now fast asleep.  
Proud of his success, he returned his attention to the TV, marvelling at how warm the cat was as it curled up in his lap.

A few hours later when Oswald started to doze off himself, he was forced to get up to check the house was secure before turning in for the night.  
The cat, alerted despite Oswald’s careful movements awoke and slipped onto the floor, landing easily.  
It stretched luxuriously, claws spread before looking up at Oswald as if awaiting orders.

Oswald began his rounds, checking the doors were locked and electrical appliances turned off. It amused him to see the cat following at his heels like a feline bodyguard.  
Finally, once he was satisfied the house was all set, Oswald climbed the stairs. The cat playfully ran up them, leaping over several at a time before waiting patiently for Oswald on the top landing.  
Oswald headed towards the bathroom but halted at the door.

‘Some things should be kept private’, he said to the cat before entering and locking the door behind him.

As he completed his nightly bathroom routine, it occurred to him that he had been talking to the cat all afternoon as if it were a person.  
After a few moments, he exited to find the cat still waiting for him.

‘Come on then’, he said, ignoring his inner voice that told him it was pointless to address the animal, ‘Bedtime’.

They walked down the hall together until they came to the master bedroom.  
Oswald entered and realised the cat had not followed.  
It was sitting, still as a statue in the doorway, its tail twitching slightly.  
Then he remembered: a few mornings previously, he had thrown a pillow at it and yelled at it to stay out. It had peed all over a fresh pile of linen that Oswald had just brought up the stairs.  
But, now that it had been fixed and trained to use the litter box, that wouldn’t be a problem right?  
He clicked his fingers and made the whispering noise he had seen Ed do and sure enough the cat came in.  
It mewed at Oswald.

‘Don’t look so smug’, Oswald joked, as he began to undress, ‘I just don’t want you breaking anything in the night’.

Oswald got into bed and checked his phone.  
One message:

_Hi_  
_Arrived OK._  
_Got what I needed._  
_C U soon!_  
_x?x_

Oswald replied:

_Hi_  
_That’s good._  
_What time u back tomorrow?_

He paused in his composition of the text to run a hand over Ed’s side of the bed.  
It felt so empty without him.  
He saw the cat had jumped up onto the bed and was walking in a circle on Ed’s side.  
It brushed against Oswald’s hand before settling down.

‘You miss him too huh?’ Oswald mused before resuming his texting:

_We miss you._  
_Good night_  
_x * >x_

Ed replied:

_We?_  
_x?x_

Oswald rolled his eyes. He could practically hear Ed’s smug smile so he retaliated with a guilt trip.

_Yes we._  
_The two you abandoned all alone in this big house._  
_x* >x_

There was a slightly longer delay before Ed responded this time which Oswald took as a victory.

_It will be worth the wait._  
_Promise._  
_Love U_  
_x?x_

Intrigued by the reply, Oswald decided to call it a night and told Ed so.

_Love U 2._  
_x* >x_

After thinking about it, he added: _& =^^=_ for the cat.

 

Ed returned just after noon the next day and was delightfully surprised by the domestic scene that greeted him.  
Oswald was in the den, using a black feathered toy to entice the cat. He was smiling as he watched the small animal bound and leap after the toy as Oswald bobbed the stick attached to make it move.

‘That’s a new toy’, Ed said, putting his bag down.

‘I thought making him chase a fake bird was better than the real ones’, Oswald replied, allowing the cat to catch the toy.

He walked to Ed and embraced him before getting up on his toes and drawing him into a welcoming kiss.

‘Did you get what you needed in Metropolis?’

Ed’s eyes darted away and he licked his lips.

‘Well, that’s what I need to ask you’.

He reached into his coat and took out a black box. He opened it to reveal a platinum ring.

Oswald laughed.

‘You don’t need to bribe me’, he said waving a hand, ‘You can keep him’.

‘It wasn’t him I was thinking of’, Ed said as he got down on one knee.

Oswald felt his heart flutter.

‘Ed, what is this?’ he asked, not daring to hope he knew what this was.

‘You can start a war or end one’, Ed said, hands shaking as he held up the box, ‘You can give me the strength of heroes or leave me powerless. You might have been snared with a glance but I hope this token will compel you to stay’.

Oswald was on Ed before he could blink. He was clutching him so hard he nearly dropped the ring!

‘Is that even a question?’ Oswald whispered fervently into Ed’s ear.

 

Later, the two sat on the sofa in front of the fire, Ed playing a video game as Oswald watched.  
The cat was on Oswald’s lap again, purring as Oswald ran a hand (newly crowned with his engagement ring) along its sleek back. 

‘So you were still going to propose even though I was angry with you?’ Oswald asked.

‘Of course. I’ve been planning this for weeks. I just couldn’t find the right ring before Valentine’s Day. That’s why I had to go to Metropolis to see more jewellery stores. Besides-‘

He paused the game and scratched behind the cat’s ears.

‘- I did just spring Chester on you’.

‘Chester?’ Oswald asked incredulously.

‘You had a different name in mind?’

'Actually yeah. I was thinking…Valentine?’

'Very romantic', Ed said, taking Oswald’s hand and kissing along the back of it, lingering on the ring.

He could feel the thin, subtle engraved words beneath his lips: _‘Worthless to One yet Priceless to Two’._

'I was thinking of the massacre actually', Oswald joked.

'In that case, why don't we compromise?'

'What? ‘Chester Valentine?’'

'Come on, it sounds like a secret agent's name! Or a video game character!'

'It's better than what I’ve been calling him’.

‘What’s that?’

‘’Hey you, get off of that!’’, Oswald laughed, ‘Catchy right?’


End file.
